Made of Bricks
by smarty350
Summary: "All anybody has ever said to me was "No, you can't." I fought so hard for everything I had, whereas pretty, popular, perfect Tori had it handed to her on a silver platter."  Trina's journey to stardom, against all odds. Ch. 2 fixed! Sorry for the mix-up.
1. Talk of the Town

Tori has never really worked a damn day in her life.

Sure, she studies and does her homework. She does well in school. But that's only because she's smart.

The truth is, she's never worked for anything because she's never had to. She's smart, pretty, naturally rail-thin, and a good singer. And she's my little sister.

It's not supposed to work that way, is it? The older sister is supposed to be the one with big shoes to fill. People are supposed to expect a lot of her because of me, not in spite of me. They aren't supposed to be surprised that our shared gene pool could churn out such a "special, perfect" girl like Tori after a bitter disappointment like me. I love her to bits, but I can't help wanting to push her in front of a bus every time she gets the lead in the school play, or an audition for a movie, or a part in a commercial. Why? Because I've wanted to be a star since I was born. When I was little, I used to draw pictures of Oscars and Grammys, of beautiful, grown up me in a pretty dress accepting the coveted trophies, and hang them all over my room. Inspiration. I memorized scenes from plays and songs from musicals. I taught myself to play the piano, and read books on how to write screenplays.

I auditioned for Hollywood Arts six times. SIX. The first time, when I was 12, and wanted nothing more than a place in Hollywood Arts Middle School (or, more appropriately, HAMS), the admissions officer told me I had "good energy". The smile fell clean off my face when he immediately added that I "didn't have what it takes to keep up with the other students."

He was right about one thing. I had some damn good energy. And I didn't intend to give up without a fight. That night, I started learning a new number. I spent every waking hour practicing the song until I could sing every pitch perfectly. I even accompanied myself on the piano. I memorized a new monologue, even learned how to fake-cry to make it more convincing. And, six months later, when I went back for my second audition, I was told that I just didn't have the talent.

What I did have was grit. I went back on every audition day with new material, and performed the hell out of it, if I do say so myself. Finally, on my sixth try, when I was fourteen, the admissions officer finally got it.

"You're going to keep trying until you get in, aren't you?" I nodded. If that man didn't know that before, he was even dumber than he looked. That was what did it, though. They figured that, even if I didn't have the talent (which I still think I do), my tenacity would take me further than most people would ever go.

I was in, finally. But that didn't stop kids from spreading rumors that I had to buy my way in. In a way, that was more insulting than anything. They thought that, not only was I untalented, but that I was lazy! That I would just turn to my parents to fix everything for me, instead of working hard to do it myself. I worked harder than anyone to get into that school. Anyone.

And I fought, tooth and nail, to get myself a spot in that showcase. I begged Lane for days to put me in, and he finally gave up and put me with Andre. I was annoyed, since Andre, while talented, was only a sophomore and didn't have as big a name as some of the juniors or seniors. But at least I would get to perform. And by then, I had been told I sucked enough to become ridiculously nervous and self-conscious about my voice. So I tried a weird Chinese Herb Gargle, and my tongue swelled up.

And who should come sweeping in to save the day, but Miss Perfect herself, Tori. She didn't want to be a star; she wanted to be a doctor. That didn't stop Lane from handing her my spot in the showcase, no audition necessary. And so I stood backstage and watched my little sister sing my song, and get handed a place in my school. She didn't have to prepare new audition material five times. She didn't have to put all her time and energy into convincing one person to let her in. She had an entire audience begging her to keep singing, and she didn't even have to ask.

It doesn't seem fair to me that Tori should get to be not only the prettier sister, but the smarter, thinner, more popular, and more talented one as well. In fact, it must violate some law of nature that one girl should have so many natural gifts, while her older sister gets crapped on on a daily basis. But that ends now.

I, Catrina Vega, am going to show everybody what I'm made of. I'm going to be a star, and the admissions officer, my teachers, and my classmates will rue the day they ever told me I couldn't.


	2. If You Want To Sing Out, Sing Out

"Tori! Tori!" A high-pitched voice called from the end of the hallway. I rolled my eyes. Perfect, popular Tori and her adoring fan club.

"Tori!" The voice yelled again as it's owner grabbed my shoulder. I turned around, ready to bitch someone out.

"Oh, sorry, Trina. Have you seen Tori?" It was Cat. I couldn't get mad at her, she was too sweet. Plus, it would be a total waste, seeing as how she'd never understand why I was mad in the first place. Cat didn't really do jealousy. It was one of her qualities that I found both endearing and incredibly frustrating. And, we were both named Catrina, so we bonded over that.

"Don't worry about it. So why were you looking for Tori?"

"Auditions for the Spring Musical start next week! Sikowitz just put out the sign up list! He says she'd be perfect for the lead."

I scowled. Of course, everybody would be jumping all over each other to cast Tori as the lead. Why was it never me? Why did no one ever say, "Trina, this role was meant for you"?

"Oh, I think I see Tori! Bye, Trina!"

"See ya, Cat." I said half-heartedly as she ran over to Tori. I stood there, wallowing in self-pity for a few seconds before I suddenly brightened. What was stopping me from getting the lead? I was going to turn my pitiful existence at Hollywood Arts around. I marched down the hall to Sikowitz's room, and scribbled my name on the sign-up sheet, ignoring the whispers of "Who does she think she's kidding," and "How pathetic." Did they honestly think I couldn't hear?

I planned to start working on my audition song as soon as I got home, but when I walked through the door, my sister was already singing. And, Andre was playing along with her. Great! She got her own accompanist, too!

"Hey, Trin!" She said, smiling brightly. This was a major contributor to my constant, irrational annoyance at her. She was happy almost all the time, and I lived in a state of self-doubt and self-pity.

"Tori. Andy." I said, acknowledging them. Andre rolled his eyes, no doubt thinking that I should know his name by now. But he, like most of Tori's other friends, never wanted me around. They didn't like when I hung out with them, and made it no secret that they didn't like me. Except for Cat. And sometimes Robbie, but he was weird. Anyway, my method of coping with this particular rejection was to pretend that they were so insignificant to me that I couldn't be bothered to remember their names, and therefore, didn't care that they thought I was annoying. I wasn't gonna tell _them_ how hurt I was that not even a bunch of sophomores would tolerate me.

"We're working on my audition for the Spring Musical. Want to hear it?"

I rolled my eyes. "Sure, why not?"

Tori immediately started belting out her song. I had to admit, she was good. Not as good as Cat, or even Jade, in my opinion, but my sister could sing. Plus, for some reason, everyone was in love with her, and she was basically guaranteed any part she wanted.

"Good job Tor! Keep working on it, and someday you'll be as good as me." I smiled sweetly and went to my room. Grabbing my laptop, I sat down on my bed and opened up my iTunes library. This song had to be perfect. Well, for me. Ginger Fox? No, her songs were so auto-tuned they hardly sounded like a human voice. Plus, they barely changed pitch the whole song. It was like chanting to a beat, meant for people who couldn't sing. And I could. I know what other people say about my voice, but I was actually decent within a certain range. Sadly, not as good as Tori or her friends, but I could carry a tune okay. Adele? Probably not. Her songs were for people who could sing _really_ well, and that wasn't quite me either, as I was all too aware.

I scrolled through the list, growing increasingly frustrated. I finally saw a song I didn't immediately recognize. Curious, I hit play.

"_Well, it's a marvelous night for a moondance_

_With the stars up above in your eyes_

_A fantabulous night to make romance_

_'Neath the cover of October skies_

_And all the leaves on the trees are fallin'_

_To the sound of the breezes that blow_

_An' I'm trying to please to the callin'_

_Of your heart strings that play soft and low_

_And all the nights magic seems to whisper and hush_

_And all the soft moonlight seems to shine in your blush_

_Can I just have one more moondance with you, my love?_

_Can I just make some more romance with you, my love?"_

I recognized the song from my Aunt Sonia's wedding a few years ago. I liked it. It was jazzy, sexy, like me! And if I sang it well, it would totally set me apart from all the other kids singing Ke$ha and Ginger Fox. Plus, it didn't go up that high, and was probably even in my range! I decided then. I would sing Moondance at my audition, and I would be marvelous, and Sikowitz would cast me as the lead. Me! Not my sister.

I printed up some sheet music and marched out to the living room to kick Andre and Tori off the piano. Lucky for me, it wasn't necessary. They were just leaving. I assume they were going to wherever it is that people with friends hang out. Cue self-pitying sigh.

I sat at the bench and spread the sheet music out in front of me. It was funny. We'd had the piano for thirteen years, and I was the only one in the house that ever played it. I pounded out the opening chords and started right in. Well, tried to, anyway.

"Well it's a marvelous night for a moondan… moondaaaaan…. moonda-Dammit!" I exclaimed, frustrated. One line in, and it was already too low for me.

"Careful, Trin," said Tori. "Wouldn't want the neighbors to file a complaint… again." She added, with a significant glance at her friend. "Oh! Hold on, let me go get my purse, then we can leave."

I glared at my sister as she went to her room. As soon as she was out of sight, I started with the opening chords again.

"Trina?" said Andre, interrupting me.

"What?" I snapped, annoyed that I'd have to start over again.

"You're trying way too hard. The lows will come out much better if you're less tense."

"Thanks, Andy. That's really helpful." I said, slightly sarcastic. It wasn't that I minded taking advice, but I didn't like that everybody felt entitled to tell me what to do. Still, it was nice that he was trying to help, instead of making fun of me like Tori.

"Andre, let's go!" Tori called out. "Trina, if Mom and Dad ask, I'll be home by eight."

"See ya, Tor." I sighed, turning back to the piano. "Relax." I whispered to myself. "That will make you better. Relax." I took a deep breath.

"It's a marvelous night for a moondance…"


	3. Me Against the Music

Two weeks til the audition. I was practicing almost non-stop, so much that my grades in other classes were starting to suffer. I had my monologue memorized almost from day one, and was _so _close to getting my song just perfect. Perfect for me. I still didn't sound as good as Cat or Jade would have, but it was still better than I'd ever been before. Of course, Tori still felt the need to make some comment about a dying cat every time she heard me sing, but I just shook it off.

Just wait, baby sister. You won't be top dog around here much longer.

I had decided to accompany myself on the piano for the audition. The leading lady of "Magical Midnight- a play by Erwin Sikowitz" wouldn't have to play the piano, but I figured it'd earn me extra brownie points. Plus, I had a reputation around Hollywood Arts for being a talentless gank. No good musician wanted to be associated with that.

That particular day, Tori had invited a cute guy from her Improv class to come over to study. She didn't want me around, and she definitely didn't want me singing. So I decided to stay and practice at school. Choir didn't have practice that day, and that meant an unoccupied Grand Piano.

I pushed open the door to the choir room to find that it was, in fact, occupied. By two girls. Who stopped sucking face long enough to see who interrupted their make-out sesh.

"Trina?" Said Cat. _CAT!_

I immediately started babbling. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I didn't know anyone was in here, again, really sorry, I'm just gonna go, okay I'm leaving now, please carry on…"

"Trina, wait." Cat said, looking nervous. She whispered something to the other girl, and led me out of the room.

Once we were outside, she took a deep breath.

"That's Lexi."

"… Oh." Was all I said.

Poor Cat looked like she was about to cry. "I really like her. But it's kind of complicated. I haven't told anyone yet… that I like another girl. Not even Jade. And I'm really scared, cause if she knows I like Lexi, she might not want to be best friends with me anymore."

I nodded slowly, still slightly shocked at what I'd walked in on.

"You're the only one that knows about us now. Just… _please _don't tell anyone else. Not even Tori. Please?"

"Yeah, sure, I promise."

Cat hugged me. "Yay! Trina, you're the best!" When she pulled back, I could have sworn I saw her wipe a few tears from her eyes. It was kind of sad, really. Cat was such a sweetheart, but she still didn't trust her friends enough to tell them she was into girls. Cat wasn't a crier- she was too bubbly, ditzy, happy for that. Obviously, this was killing her.

"Oh! You need the piano, don't you? Ok, we can leave." She ducked back into the room for a second, and emerged with her… ladyfriend. Who was really pretty, so I approved.

"Nice meeting you." Lexi said, smiling, as she followed Cat some other undisclosed location where they wouldn't be disturbed. Still reeling from the revelation, I sat down at the piano bench and tried to focus.

When I got home that evening, Tori's friend had already left.

"Hey Trin. So how was your day?" She asked, overly chipper. I assumed the study-date had gone well.

"Fine."

"Anything interesting happen?"

"Lane told me my singing was really coming along." That wasn't a lie, he walked past the choir room during my practice and was visibly surprised to see none other than Trina Vega at the bench.

"Oh. That's, um, nice." Tori said, clearly not buying it. She was so frustrating. Everyone else could acknowledge that I was at least making progress, but she still felt the need to act like I was Trina, the patron saint of comically terrible singing.

She continued. "Are you really gonna audition for Magical Midnight? Competition's gonna be pretty tough."

"I've done "tough" things before, Tori."

"No, I just mean that everyone trying out is gonna be really good, and-"

I cut her off. "Everyone. You mean you?"

"Well yeah!" She exclaimed. "I mean, don't take this the wrong way, but I always get the lead! Sikowitz even told me I would be great as Lucy in the play. I just don't want you to embarrass yourself." Tori attempted a smile. "Because I care about you."

I don't think I'd ever felt such a strong urge to slap my sister.

"Don't patronize me." I snapped. "I hate when you do that." 

"Do what?" She said, feigning innocence.

"Put me down, tell me I suck, and try to cover it up by saying you're 'protecting' me. I'm sick of it."

"But, Trina, I just…" 

"No! I'm so done with that. I have to deal with people telling me I suck every day, even when I'm working so hard to get better. And I'm finally starting to improve. Finally. My one-woman-show was a hit, not that you'd know, cause you never came to see me,"

"I was really busy…" She cut in.

"My dancing is actually pretty good, and people have told me my singing is coming along. But I'm still everybody's chew toy, aren't I? It's still so much fun to joke about how much Trina sucks! Trina can't act! Trina can't sing! Trina bought her way into Hollywood Arts! I deal with that shit every day, from everyone! Even Mom and Dad! I don't need it from you, too."

Tori looked alarmed. "Trina, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to…"

I cut her off again. I was bearing my soul, and she needed to stop interrupting.

"I'm always there for you. Always. And I really wish I could count on you to always be on my side, because most of the time, no one else is."

"I didn't know. I'm sorry?" She said, like it was a question. I rolled my eyes. Yes, Tori, sorry is the appropriate response.

"It's fine. Don't worry about it." I grabbed my laptop and went to my room to fume in silence, leaving my sister standing there with a confused expression on her face. I guess she was kind of justified, seeing as how that was the only time I've really let on that I can hear what people say about me. But still! She needed to know how I felt. I groaned loudly, frustrated with life in general. Then, I pulled myself together and started practicing my scales.


End file.
